The importance of leadership feedback cannot be overestimated.

Kindness, balance, support, and wisdom are essential qualities that a

team needs from its leaders; without them, a group will not excel. The

leader must recognise and appreciate what each team member brings to

the group, and ideally this is spoken about and disseminated publicly.

‘Praise in public, challenge in private’ is a useful phrase to keep in mind.

However, of equal importance in generating a highly cohesive group is

enabling the team members to appreciate each other.

At the end of 2021, as the Covid-19 lockdowns and restrictions were

easing in Australia, it became clear that our obstetric department team

could meet in person as a group for our usual December celebration.

These dinner meetings were always eagerly anticipated, however, this

year, I hadn’t had time, or indeed inclination, to arrange any

presentations. In fact, the very thought of arranging another meeting left

me with an overwhelming sense of exhaustion. I asked the group whether

we should go ahead with the event, secretly hoping that they would

decline. However, there was great enthusiasm to meet and have dinner

and the usual fun night, so I booked our regular venue.

When the date rapidly arrived, with growing trepidation, I had come up

with only one activity. This would be an activity that was unfamiliar to

most of us, including myself. My sense was that it would either be a

roaring success or a complete disaster. After the usual end of year

comments, I stood in front of the group of around 50 doctors and senior

midwives holding a container full of individually wrapped chocolates.

“In this bucket, I have three Lindt Chocolate Balls for each person” I

began, “The first is for yourself. This is to recognise all the hard work that

each of us has done, and the resilience that we have shown after a tough

couple of years. So, the first chocolate for each person is to honour

themselves” – I paused and then continued, “The other chocolates are to

give to two other members of our team. These are for special efforts that

you have noticed, to express thanks, to acknowledge hard work, or to

publicly appreciate someone who has gone above the usual excellent

standards to do something amazing. The only proviso is that we each

come to the front and present our chocolates, telling everyone what the

recipient has done that is special.”

I presented my own two gift chocolates, one to a junior doctor who had

been struggling with the pressures of work but had lifted her effort. With

persistence and dedication, she had become a reliable and valued

member of the team. The other I presented to an extraordinary senior

midwife who was a wonderful leader. She combined efficiency and

compassion to both staff and patients in an admirable mix. I stepped

back.

There were some moments of quiet. I sensed a reticence to be the first

to participate in the process. Finally, just as the silence was becoming

uncomfortable, a doctor rose and came to the front. Taking chocolates

from the bucket, she presented thanks and chocolate to two others in the

group. Soon after, the enthusiasm for the activity became infectious.

Some wanted to present a second round of chocolates. Eventually, every

member of the team had risen, one by one, and thanked, recognised,

appreciated, and honoured, others in our team.

There were affirmations given that night which were heart-warming.

There were comments and anecdotes that I had not heard before, and

perspectives I hadn’t considered. In the end, all of us seemed to be aware

of how fortunate we were to belong to the group. We felt joint pride,

mutual respect, and gratitude. With the team’s ability to be brave and

open on that night, many bonds were strengthened.

From Hurting to Healing – Delivering Love to Medicine and Healthcare. Hambone Publishers, 2023.